Pappa wants mamma naked
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
