how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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