I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
