i don't like sucking hair
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
