please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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