So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
