I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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