Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
