wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
