Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
50% drunk capacity currently
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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