your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
