I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
