Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
how does that bad decision feel?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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