We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
