I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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