the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
