Its about making memories worth repressing
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
