WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
