So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
