If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
