Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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