you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
