...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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