Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
