Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
