When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
