I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
