'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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