your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize