Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
