Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
