her facebook's as public as her vagina
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
