I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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