God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
