the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
