My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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