i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
