About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
