I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
