first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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