I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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