ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
