I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize