saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
