i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
