Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
