i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
