I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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