I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
