I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
