I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
