I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
