just come out here and I will go home with you...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize