you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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