i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
