is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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