That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
