nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize