so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
