Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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